Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Shia LaBeouf as Mutt Williams
For my first movie review, I’m going to be reviewing the Shia LaBeouf movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
My only real complaint with the film is the title. It’s huge! It’s hard enough to say it when you are buying a ticket, but to type it out takes forever.
First of all, I never saw any of the other Indiana Jones movies because those were made before I was even born, but I did skim through Wikipedia in preparation for this review. The Indiana Jones movies started as short films called “serials” in the 1930’s. These films would intentionally stop the movie in the middle of the action so that you had to come back the next week to see what happened. No wonder they made so much money, right?
Shia's Obviously Uncomfortable With Indiana Jones Touching Him
This current movie was set in the past in the 1950’s. Usually, I am not always a fan of movies that take place in the past because I think that it’s hard for today’s audiences to care about it and relate to characters who dress like they’re going to a costume party. But, this movie sucked me in from the first moment Shia came on screen as Mutt Williams. OMG! Mutt is this motorcycle bad boy type who wears a leather jacket and carries a knife. I’ve been a huge fan of Shia’s for years and I think this is his best role ever since Transformers.
As the movie unfolds, Mutt motorcycles to some college to get the Indiana Jones character, played by Harrison Ford, because he needs help to find his mom. Turns out she was captured by the army guys (the ones at the beginning of the movie who decided to join the Russian army) because she knows how to find a magical skull. Indiana Jones says the skulls aren’t real, but Shia knows better and convinces him to go along with him on the adventure. One of my favorite parts of this scene is when Mutt puts his comb in some other kid’s drink and then combs his hair with it! Hilarious.
Turns out a bunch of people, including the Russians, are looking for skulls that are made of crystal which have magical powers. Everyone is stealing the skull from each other and trying to take it back to this city where the skull brings to life these aliens and the aliens kill whoever brings it back. Most people won’t do it, but I am not afraid to admit that this movie did not make any sense. Why would you want to return this crystal skull only to be killed by an alien? WTF?!
Shia Waits As Indiana Jones Rests
Aside from the weird plot, there are a ton of amazing scenes that make this movie worth watching over and over once the DVD comes out. The motorcycle chase through the college campus was amazing. I had to close my eyes several times as Shia rode his bike into some tight squeezes. The scene where everyone was attacked by these giant ants was one of the scarier things I’ve ever seen in movie history. Not as scary as that girl from The Ring, but I think it is considered very close. But, hands down, my all-time favorite scene in the movie is when Shia is swinging on vines with the monkeys. That was amazing! It takes a real talented movie person to create a scene that makes you laugh and cheer at the same time. Bravo, Mr. Lucas.
Shia’s Mutt Williams goes from being shot at to swinging in vines with monkeys to sword fighting with the Russians. I think that is why the character resonated so well with so many people. Here was this regular person who stopped at nothing to save his mom and do the right thing. Also, Mutt wasn’t like the typical action movie guy. The fact that he got hurt was, in my opinion, one of the cooler parts of the character. This made him real and easy to relate to.
I give Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 4 out of 5 winks.
Tags: 90265, batman, Elections, entertainment, film, George Lucas, Harrison Ford, hip, hollywood, Indiana Jones, Iron Man, LaBeouf, LeBeouf, Malibu, movies, Mutt, obama, Politics, popcorn, pretty, princess, review, scifi, sexy, Shia, silver screen, spielberg, Star Wars, teen
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August 8, 2008 at 21:06
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! GOD THIS IS THE DUMBEST REVIEW OF ALL TIME!!!!!!
“The Indiana Jones movies started as short films called “serials” in the 1930’s” WTF? Indiana Jones was a 80’s adventure trilogy created by Steven Spielburg and George Lucas. “Mutt is this motorcycle bad boy type who wears a leather jacket and carries a knife.” Its called a greaser retard, there from the 50’s. “Turns out she was captured by the army guys (the ones at the beginning of the movie who decided to join the Russian army)” Its called the Soviet Union idiot, look it up. “Not as scary as that girl from The Ring, but I think it is considered very close.” The Ring? THE RING? Wow, you must be like, 6. “But, hands down, my all-time favorite scene in the movie is when Shia is swinging on vines with the monkeys. That was amazing! It takes a real talented movie person to create a scene that makes you laugh and cheer at the same time. Bravo, Mr. Lucas.” Bravo Mr. Lucas? Wow, you must be mental not to realize that the monkey scene was pretty dumb and that Lucas murdered this film. But i guess all kids care about these days is their stupid CGI. “Why would you want to return this crystal skull only to be killed by an alien? WTF?!” Wow, you must have not been paying attention half the time. They brang it back so they could unlock its secrets. The alien transmitted its knowledge to Spalko (the girl that is in the grey suit incase your a retard), but her human mind could not handle all the knowledge and she vaporized.
I give your review a -6/5. God you must be in “special” classes cause your so retarded.
August 9, 2008 at 12:53
Your father and I are both very proud of you and think your review was a wonderful start to a great career.
XOXO
August 9, 2008 at 12:54
F that other guy, V. Your blog is the bomb.
See ya tonight!
SJ
August 9, 2008 at 13:13
Not going to put in the time to figure out if this review is tongue in cheek or not so regardless there’s a couple things I want to say.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark is an amazingly perfect movie. You should see that one.
Back in the day I don’t think serials were ever the main feature in the theatre. A serial episode (Like The Crimson Ghost) probably came on before the main feature kind of like a movie trailer.
Mutt William’s costume was kind of a copy of Marlon Brando’s costume in the Wild One… back before the Wild One came out no one wore those cop motorcycle jackets.
August 9, 2008 at 16:57
Hi BK
Thanks for reading my blog review!
I will totally go watch the movies you mentioned but which is the first Indiana Jones movie Raiders of the Lost Ark or The Crimson Ghost? Do you think Netflix has them?
Again, thanks for reading!
Val
August 11, 2008 at 18:56
Please, for the love of god, tell me this “Valerie” person is a satirical character. Please! I don’t care if it’s true or not, just lie. Otherwise, you may be the stupidest person I’ve ever had the displeasure of encountering, online or off. It really is quite spectacular.
And Fans, as for Valerie having any sort of career other than Village Idiot, don’t count on it. Something tells me it may be time for you to trundle down to the doctor’s office and ask for that family rate on the frontal lobotomy, (or have you already done so? It would explain so much).
Any time I think the masses can’t get any more retarded, one these sniveling snots has to prove me wrong…
PS – As it how I stumbled upon your rather unbelievable blog, you review of “Crystal Skull” is now the subject of ridicule on an Indiana Jones message board. Nice job.
August 11, 2008 at 21:01
I think she’s nailed it on the head; it is all about Shia, and George Lucas can lick my sack if he wants to make it more about fucking Grandpa Diaper Ford.
Val, you got it kid. I’m so happy for you and your chosen direction (or should I say, it chose you
. These guys don’t know what the fuck they’re saying. Seriously, if you go to other sites, they all agree that the only standout about this movie is Shia. You nailed it. I can’t wait for Transformers 2.
August 11, 2008 at 23:34
Valerie, I really like your writing and your views. Will you post a photo of yourself, please?
August 12, 2008 at 10:36
About that alleged genius who posted first, I know what an I.Q. is, but what the hell’s an “Iq”?
August 14, 2008 at 06:57
PLEASE post a pic. You sound hot.
August 14, 2008 at 16:52
i am not one to jump on the band wagon-but i am going- not just because of your review of Indiana Jones 4 but because of the comment you left on mine. Just because it has shia the beef in it- does ot make it a good thing. end of. your review was washy and avoided choosing a side of the fence. Fences are usually sharp- get off it and say something, instead of nothing
August 14, 2008 at 20:12
Hi Valerie
First of all, i’d like to congratulate you on taking the time, effort, and brave decision to advertise yourself in the way you did, and setting yourself up for ridicule.
I don’t know where you live, but I live in the UK, and have worked for The Daily Mirror – a tabloid newspaper, albeit briefly.
I really enjoyed reading your review, and you’re clearly a very talented writer, but if I may, i’d like to suggest something to you by way of constructive criticism.
My first point would be that the review sounded too ‘personal’ – of course, this is your blog, and your review, but if you were ever intending to publish it in a wider sense, any editor would immediately delete any instances of ‘I think’ or questions you pose the audience.
My suggestion would be to re-review the film, perhaps following this formula: film background – plot – what worked – what didn’t – conclusion.
Obviously not every film is to your personal taste, but it is imperative as a reviewer to remain impartial. Instead of asking yourself ‘do I like this?’ ask yourself if the audience Indiana Jones was aimed at – in that case, say males aged 15-40 – would enjoy it, and get what they want out of it.
Well done on attempting your first review, it’s an excellent start, and you’ve got a great use of vocab! I look forward to reading more
David
PS – Feel free to read mine, and comment all you like: http://backandtothefuture.wordpress.com
August 14, 2008 at 20:18
PPS – Ignore some of the comments above? So you’re the laughing stock of the online Indiana Jones community? Ha! Big whoop! They’ll be crying themselves to sleep in the corner of their parents basements when you make it!
August 15, 2008 at 02:11
Thanks for the comment Valerie
So when’s the next review? I can’t wait to read it!
August 15, 2008 at 02:33
Hi David,
My next review is probably going to be the Clone Wars cartoon. The four star wars movie are pretty popular, so I figured I might as well write about something people like.
-Val
August 15, 2008 at 15:56
Good news! Make sure you let me know when it is, so I can come and have a look.
David
x
August 22, 2008 at 02:06
about clone wars it is the seventh star wars movie
August 22, 2008 at 05:06
Valerie, I hope you don’t mind but I added your movie review site to my blog. I really enjoyed your review of the Indiana Jones Movie.
-lou
August 26, 2008 at 02:29
Don’t listen to the flamer above. Sure, you make plenty of factual errors in this review, but, I can tell you are just learning. As I said on Movieforums, keep practicing, and start working on researching your projects so you have all the right facts.
Ignore people that roll in calling you names, and focus on your skills, which will improve over time. You have an above-average command of the language for someone your age, so you are well ahead of the game in that department.
Also, the poster above that asks you to re-review the film makes some excellent points, so take that stuff to heart.
Now – On to the good part
I work for a film site that features user review threads, which you have already signed up for. Once you have gotten a bit better with your facts, I would have no problem adding a thread of your reviews as part of the user-review section (all free of charge, of course).
I responded to your Star Wars review you posted in the main forum, and although my thoughts might seem a bit harsh, it’s constructive criticism (get used to it), and again, I think you show great potential, and a high traffic forum like ours is a GREAT place to put your work out in the public discourse and get your feet wet.
Again, keep up the good work, and get to that research!
Hope to see you around on Movieforums in the future.
September 20, 2008 at 19:12
did you read the rest….in actuality she’s getting WORSE!!! this review is slightly more readable than her later ones…
and toddddman (i’m going to say you’re boinking val, right), INDIANA JONES wasn’t about SHIA…I’ve never read such things…you want to know what it’s about…it’s about…INDIANA JONES…huh…who would have thought that? stupidity is a really bad thing…showing off your stupidity is a travesty, both you and valerie. I’m so shocked she’s 18. She should have been able to write better. And Fans…this girl isn’t going to make it, I’m sorry..
November 27, 2008 at 09:12
“Your father and I are both very proud of you and think your review was a wonderful start to a great career.
XOXO”
LOLOLOLOLOL
please don’t do this as a career. we already have bad enough critics as it is and we don’t need someone (you) who bases reviews off of what they liked, and not what the movie put forth and how they went about it.
not only that, but you didn’t even mention harrison ford!!!! shia was not the main character…………………………