Movie Review: The Dark Knight
Except for maybe people my grandparents’ age, most everyone has heard of The Dark Knight, the sequel to Batman Begins and almost all of those people have seen it.
Because of such other popular movie characters as Spiderman, Hulk Hogan and Iron Man, superheroes are really, really popular, right now. Moviegoers really love seeing criminals get beaten up by people with supernatural or magical abilities and Batman is no exception. With his super human strength and ability to fly, Batman has come a long way from his humble beginnings.
Batman is sad about crime
Batman started as a comic strip in 1939 (there was even an animated cartoon on television, in later years) and, although some kids enjoyed reading his adventures in the Sunday comics, he never reached the status of being really popular among most people. Not until Batman Begins, that is, when Christian Bale and a director brought Batman to the big screen. From then on, there was no stopping the Caped Crusades!
The Dark Knight actually starts off kind of cute with a group of clowns riding in a car. But, these clowns aren’t circus clowns, at all. They are bank robbers who are going to rob a bank of its money. There is a big shootout and only one clown is left: The Joker. Upset and alone because his friends are dead, The Joker leaves the scene of the crime in a bus.
Joker laughs with friends before robbery
Meanwhile, Batman returns from Japan and begins to wonder if being Batman is even fun anymore. Crime makes him sad, so maybe he should just stop and move on to something else, he wonders. His ex-girlfriend Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal taking over for Tom Cruise’s wife Katie, which was weird because they totally look different, so it was hard to get past that because it is obviously a totally different person) is dating Harvey Dent, a lawyer. Harvey Dent is running for District Attorney, so Batman decides to let Harvey fight crime with lawsuits, instead.
Meanwhile, The Joker asks a group of bad guys to hire him to kill Batman. This starts a long series of explosions and people getting hurt because The Joker wants Batman to tell everyone who he really is. To make matters worse, The Joker tries to kill people that Batman likes like Detective Gordon and Harvey Dent. He succeeds in killing Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character Rachel *SPOILER* which makes Batman pretty sad because he loved her. An equally upset Harvey Dent gets so enraged by Maggie dying that his face actually catches on fire. What?! Anyway, so now Harvey Dent becomes a bad guy named Two Face *SPOILER* and decides to start killing people, too.
Yuck!
Meanwhile, the whole town of Gotham is scared of The Joker, so they get on boats to leave, but The Joker has put bombs on the boats and waits with Batman for the bombs to go off. To his horror (and my joy!), the bombs don’t go off because the people in the boats don’t press the detonators to blow themselves up. *SPOILER* But, then, why would they, right? The Joker starts to fall off a building, but is saved by Batman. It is then he realizes that Batman is a good guy and that maybe they can be friends once he gets out of jail.
Meanwhile, Two Face tries to kill Detective Gordon’s family, but Batman uses his body of steel of stop the bullets. He and Two Face fall off that building and Two Face is knocked out cold. *SPOILER*
Everyone is talking about how amazing Heath Ledger was and I will be no different. He was amazing. Whether you liked him or not, you have to admire the fact that any actor that finds out he’s dying and decides that his last role will be a bad guy is pretty brave. I found it sometimes hard to watch The Joker, like when he was hunching over and his mouth was dry (anyone who has taken medication knows about the dry mouth), because it was so obvious that Heath was really sick, but kept going and that is what a true actor does who is dedicated to his crafts.
The character of The Joker is incredibly scary, at times. I think the writers should have given him a name like The Exploder or The Terrorist because calling him The Joker suggests that he will be funnier than he really is. Just my two cents.
As scary as The Joker is, I kind of felt sorry for him. First, his dad got drunk and cut a smile into Joker’s mouth. *SPOILER* I don’t care what state you live in, that is still child abuse and totally wrong! Then, after his scars healed and he was an adult, his wife had plastic surgery and was worried about her scars, so Heath re-cut his mouth into a smile himself in order to show his wife that he loved her no matter what. *SPOILER* Kind of romantic, right? Apparently not enough for the wife because she decides to divorce him because he’s ugly! It’s no wonder that The Joker was so mean to people. All he had ever had his whole life were people being mean to him and, after a few years, that makes people turn their sadness into meanness. That’s just my two cents, though.
Christian Bale was handsome, so I enjoyed his scenes. At first, I thought someone else was playing Batman because Christian Bale actually changes his voice when he’s in his Batman costume. Which leaves the audience to wonder: which voice is the real Batman? The Batman voice or the not Batman voice? It is little things like that, however subtle they may be to the average viewer, that add to the mystery of the character and the complexity of his dark past.
"Hi, Mr. Bale. I'd love to play Robin!"
Hollywood is abuzz with the rumor that there might even be a third Batman movie. If I had any say in it, I would say “OMG! Yes, Please!” After researching Batman, I was reminded that Batman had a sidekick named Robin. I know the movie hasn’t been cast yet, but I really think Christian Bale should consider Shia LaBeouf as Robin. Not only is he an amazing actor, but he would also appeal to a younger audience of people in their 20’s who might not relate as well with the other actors in the movie. Again, JMTC.
I give The Dark Knight 5 out of 5 winks!
NOTE: Do not read spoilers if you have not seen the movie, yet!
Tags: 90265, bale, batman, blockbuster, cartoon, cinema, comic strip, Cuteness, film, hip, hollywood, Joker, Ledger, Malibu, movie review, obama, opinion, oscars, Politics, reviews, sexy, Shia, smart, smartness, summer, valerie, young, youthful opinion
You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
September 19, 2008 at 06:56
Great Job, Hon! You are getting so GOOD at this! I’m going to send this to my friends at the Lodge; we’re not ‘hip’ or anything, but this should convince them that the world is in good hands.
September 19, 2008 at 07:30
Awesome! I have not seen this, but after reading the review I have to say I’m intrigued! You are great at this
Keep doing what you’re doing!
Also, you are SOOOOO right about Shia!
September 20, 2008 at 03:23
With tongue lodged firmly in cheek, I enjoyed reading your thought provoking review of this “super powered” hero. Good stuff.
September 20, 2008 at 06:38
No no no….that little note at the end of the review about Spoilers, should have been placed FIRST, at the top of the review. Secondly, the first “spoiler”…. well you had already given it away before you indicated a Spoiler Warning.
Well, there are many ways one can write a review without spoiling this movie, you know.
A lot of your plot synopsis is wrong e.g. Joker isn’t sad when his clowns are dead at the beginning of the movie…after all he did plan the whole thing and kill the last one…and secondly, you make it sound like Dent spontaneously combusted when he found out about Rachel’s death…it wasn’t so….and then there was this: “The Joker starts to fall off a building, but is saved by Batman. It is then he realizes that Batman is a good guy and that maybe they can be friends once he gets out of jail.” What makes you think so? Trust me, no..
In all, this is a terrible review. It’s one thing to not make sense, but when someone is that inaccurate, that a huge problem.
September 20, 2008 at 08:40
Are you serious? I mean, lets all be honest here, this has to be the most inaccurate, juvenile review that has been done for The Dark Knight. You really need to get a clue about what you are writing about before you actually put into a blog. Its embarassing for you, even if you dont know it.
September 20, 2008 at 09:17
toddman, kong and longshot?? did you guys really read this review…or are you all illiterate? from your comments, i fear its the latter..
September 20, 2008 at 15:35
OMG this is hilarious. After reading this review, I just HAD to go read all the others. I have never read anything written this badly on the internet, and the internet has a lot of horrible things in it. But I must thank you, because I have never had such a blast reading your reviews. THEY ARE HILARIOUS! You need to pay attention on the plot of the movies, do a little reserach before you start saying something stupid and stop drooling over shia labeouf. Sure he’s talented, but you didn’t even pay attention the main plot of Indiana jones because of him, and your favorite scene was the monkey scene…so that saids a bit. But ya, I advise you to continue writing these reviews and keep up the good work, cause Its always fun getting laughs from reading something soo badly written. Too bad the summer is over, maybe you can review Eagle Eye when it comes out…oh…I’ll be waiting… =P
September 20, 2008 at 15:39
omfg….I just found out youre 18….omg….I swear i thought you were like..10 and you were an inspired writer and review, sounded cute in mind, but in real world….You are probably a blonde huh. A rich blonde from malibu….wow
September 20, 2008 at 16:09
this is a terrible review. it looks like a 6 year old kid write this
September 20, 2008 at 16:38
To quote the joker “ahahahahaha! ive never read anything that made me laugh in so many different ways, one minute i was laughing because of something you put that was pure brain dead stupid the next minute laughing at something you said that was pure comical again from stupidity evident in your reviews, please for the love of laughter keep writting reviews because you have just made a boring our of work laugh right by in what feels like a few minutes.
But i do agree with you on one thing, why you started your blog? To quote you
“I grew up being told by my parents and teachers and friends that there was something special about me, that I would go on to do big things.”
Yep they where all right there is something special about you alright but i think you made a typo on your second line, your definately going to do big things, big stupid things so keep up the stupid reviews. Im still laughing at the thought of them now “joker was sad because he killed his friends” oh thats timeless!
September 20, 2008 at 18:54
“Hulk Hogan”
Whaa…? I suppose you mean the Hulk.
“Upset and alone because his friends are dead, The Joker leaves the scene of the crime in a bus.”
He wanted them to die.
September 20, 2008 at 20:06
How original, you spam our movie forum so you can try to get traffic at your review blog. Well, I read your “review” and to be honest its really just a complete synopsis of the film. Where are you in there? I actually quit reading about half way through because to explore the movie step by step takes to long and doesn’t connect me with you at all.
September 21, 2008 at 03:09
Great. With all your well placed “spoilers” I don’t even have to see the film. Thanks.
September 21, 2008 at 05:15
bwhahaha!!! That was frickin hilarious!
September 21, 2008 at 05:16
FUCK YOUR TWO CENTS, BITCH I GOTS THREE!
September 21, 2008 at 06:13
Say what you will, but she’s the first one to make the connection between Ledger’s medications and the Joker’s dry mouth.
September 21, 2008 at 06:18
PW wrote “How original, you spam our movie forum so you can try to get traffic at your review blog. Well, I read your “review” and to be honest its really just a complete synopsis of the film. Where are you in there? I actually quit reading about half way through because to explore the movie step by step takes to long and doesn’t connect me with you at all.”
This sounds like someone who takes their twobit website very seriously. There are a million sites where you can find opinions on movies from people who r not profesional critics. Know why that is? Because its an opinion and every fanboy feels it is somehow there right to xpress their opinions. I would rather read the articles on here then on slashfilm or whatever other geek infested sites there are.
Keep it up Valerie!
September 21, 2008 at 07:14
i think she intentionally wrote the review like that to get the web traffic she wanted for this site. if she ends up making a lot of moey because of it, then the joke is actually on us.
just a thought.
September 21, 2008 at 09:35
Un desastre
September 22, 2008 at 04:32
I was almost certain these reviews MUST be tongue in cheek until your parents start defending them. Dear god, you’re like the Star Wars Kid of movie reviews!
September 22, 2008 at 07:05
Wow, not much else I can say that hasn’t been said yet, except…
Heath Ledger wasn’t DYING when he took the role of The Joker, he fucking OD’d you idiot!!
September 22, 2008 at 23:46
[...] hesitate to actually quote more because the entire thing is just too goddamn perfect. Check it out here to learn about Batman’s sadness, The Joker’s desire to be friends with Batman once [...]
September 23, 2008 at 00:42
“i think she intentionally wrote the review like that to get the web traffic she wanted for this site. if she ends up making a lot of moey because of it, then the joke is actually on us.”
Not only that, but “she” is actively going to movie forum sites and posting links and reproducing reviews there. The reviews are kind of funny, but that’s spam any way you slice it. Shame on the writer.
September 23, 2008 at 02:50
You should be restricted from gaining A) into any movie and B) the internet in general. Which shouldn’t be too hard since your parents have obviously shielded you from constructive criticism and the “hard truth” that you are actually a moron. Stick to modeling honey, it show’s your good side…
September 23, 2008 at 03:32
Mr/Ms. Seriously!? Should be restricted from A) punctuation s/he does not understand, B) keyboards, and C) criticizing the intelligence of others.
September 23, 2008 at 03:49
Lalala must be the a relative of the writer in question, otherwise s/he wouldn’t give me punctuation lessons when the author of this review could stand to go back to English classes themselves, not to mention film classes, history classes, studies in American pop culture, and general knowledge of how not to come off as a complete moron.
Don’t flatter yourself Lalala, I’d have never come to this site had FSR not posted this time-waster today. I was so appalled at the quotes they used, I had to see if this was real.
Stick to what you’re good at Val, whatever that may be…
September 23, 2008 at 03:58
I’m confused. There is no way this chick is serious. If somehow she is I’m sad for my country and my species. But who are these idiots that are defending her? Are they unaware this isn’t serious?
September 23, 2008 at 04:24
We’re very proud of you, sweetheart. You can never please all the people all of the time, so just learn to ignore the meanies.
Now go out there and review your heart out!
September 23, 2008 at 04:30
I apologize Val. It’s not my place, your parents are right. You can’t please all the people all of the time. It’s inevitable that someone will criticize you as you criticize movies. The difference, is that they HAVE A CLUE WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
Seriously, stick to Dawson’s Creek and The OC. They need no previous knowledge of, well, anything to review, and you won’t have to look up stupid things like the fact that this is the last of several Batman movies, or that the Joker is a sociopath who isn’t concerned with “friends” and wasn’t written into this movie for the first time.
September 23, 2008 at 04:47
VALERIE RULES!!!
September 23, 2008 at 06:09
dumbass val! ure an idiot!
September 23, 2008 at 06:18
LOL! This is the best thing Ive read in a longtime. Your awesome!
September 23, 2008 at 09:00
I think you’re hilarious:)
September 24, 2008 at 23:37
I have an issue with this particular paragraph:
“Everyone is talking about how amazing Heath Ledger was and I will be no different. He was amazing. Whether you liked him or not, you have to admire the fact that any actor that finds out he’s dying and decides that his last role will be a bad guy is pretty brave. I found it sometimes hard to watch The Joker, like when he was hunching over and his mouth was dry (anyone who has taken medication knows about the dry mouth), because it was so obvious that Heath was really sick, but kept going and that is what a true actor does who is dedicated to his crafts.”
1. Heath Ledger did not find out he was dying at any point during this filming and up to the point when he did die. It was an overdose of sleeping pills. Yes, he was suffering from insomnia and such, but in no way did he think he was about to die.
2. The dry mouth is not connected to his medication. It was part of the character, something which was stated explicitly before.
3. While I agree with Ledger’s performance, the rubbish you wrote after is mis-informed and shows very little respect for the late talented actor, which is something critics rarely tread on. If you respect him, but know very little about his personal life, you talk about his acting and that’s it. If you hate him, then don’t talk about him, period. That’s how the critics usually do it. There are some who are disgusting enough (and, well this list now includes you) to say inaccurate things about a dead actor, and then try not to rectify this issue. Frankly you should apologize for the inaccuracies placed here.
I didn’t care much for the review you made. It doesn’t change anything, although your writing skills and research are terrible. If you’re here for satirical reviews, then this is something you state beforehand, so your readers will understand you. As you have not stated if your reviews are to be seriously taken or its all satirical fun, the reader will clearly believe you’re serious. Your review tend to mean that it’s also serious. You’re not a good film reviewer. Everyone’s parents tell their children they have something special in them, and usually that “specialty” shows up in their twenties and so on. Usually it isn’t anything big. Frankly, i don’t think your specialty is film reviewing, because you seem to be very lazy (1 film every 3 weeks??) as well as you seem not to know how to research a film’s background. With practice, your reviews should become a little better, but I can see that you’re not having much practice. And also, you should take your comments (bad and good) as they are. Read them, and try to understand what they’re saying. Most of us have been writing/reading film reviews for years. And even though some of us may be harsh, we know what we’re talking about. Don’t be an internet phenomenon, this is just temporary…be respected …that is permanent.
September 25, 2008 at 00:16
This is hands down the funniest blog I’ve read. You have a fan in London now. Please write more reviews!!!!
September 25, 2008 at 06:47
I was about to leave feedback for Val, great review by the way, but now I see this Roger fellow. Wow! You are articulate and eloquent, and might I add, well informed. Were you a friend of Mr. Ledger’s? I am so sorry for your loss. To think, how much time you must spend, defending the man’s name, online, to strangers. I hope you read this. I’m sure your effort is thankless. I bet Val is grateful for the info, too. Her first review from a hollywood insider! And you thought no one would notice! I told you so!
September 26, 2008 at 03:22
EPIC
October 4, 2008 at 04:50
I don’t know what is funnier, the post itself or the comments. Way to go, Valerie!
October 7, 2008 at 01:03
Terrible review! Val, it’s obvious you don’t know how to write a review. My advice, visit Rottentomatoes.com and study some reviews of a good movie seriously to learn how to write a review!
A movie review is more than writing the narrative of the film along with X number of spoilers. And you got to get your facts right. Batman was very popular all along. Ever heard of a movie called “Batman” or “Batman Returns” by Tim Burton? They were probably as popular as “The Dark Knight” is today. And FYI Batman doesn’t have any supernatural or magical abilities. He is one of the very few superheros who are still human. That is the reason he has so many gadgets!
And you messed up at several places in the review
1) Joker wasn’t upset that his friends are dead at the end of the robbery scene. He ran the operation that way so that he can run with all the money.
2) Harvey’s face doesn’t catch fire coz he was enraged by Rachel’s death. Joker had trapped them both at two different places so that Batman could save only one of them. But he loses both.
3) How do you know that Heath knew he was going to die after this film?
4) Joker licking his lips was part of the character and not because his mouth was dry.
5) How could Joker be renamed as “Exploder” Or “Terrorist”. If you knew anything at all about Batman you would have known that “Joker” was the biggest enemy of Batman.
6) Shia LeBeouf as Robin. You got to be kidding me! Didn’t you know that a movie called “Batman and Robin” that was made in the lates nineties almost killed the Batman franchise? You want to ruin the franchise again by giving such idiotic comments??
My advice to you.. Stop writing reviews once and for all!!!
shadowfax1977@gmail.com
October 7, 2008 at 23:42
The fact that so many people continue to take everything they read on the internets seriously is a neverending source of amusement to me.
I freaking love it.
Great reviews, and great writing. Keep up the good work!
To the people who leave indignant comments, please, PLEASE, grow a sense of humor, folks.
October 8, 2008 at 00:17
For everyone on here that is bashing on the blogger…….are you guy effin kidding me? It’s obvious this is a fluffy review, not to be taken seriously. My god it is so funny that you elitists are trying to pick apart this review “dear god, this was horrible, the plot synopsis is all wrong!” LIGHTEN UP AND TAKE A JOKE! This is one of the funniest things on the internet, I must say. Keep up the good work Val, and keep ‘em coming!
October 9, 2008 at 01:23
At first I was like everybody else, like WTF?!?!
But, I a, having fun.
Thank you for making e smile in these trying times.
I would love to see a review of the TV series LOST or Heroes.
Can’t wait for more.
Mail-i-Boo Ya’ll ! Woot Woot
October 15, 2008 at 21:13
hahahahahahahahhahaa this is aweful!!!!!!!!
October 17, 2008 at 20:53
Obviously these reviews are not supposed to be taken seriously. What’s best about this blog, though, is how in the comments so many insecure people who think they are smart reveal, in fact, how stupid they are by not getting the joke. Humor takes the greatest amount if intelligence of all–that’s why machines don’t have it, and the ones ranting and raving all the time are the stupid people who don’t get it.
October 29, 2008 at 12:07
Funny stuff. I’ll visit this site more often, for sure.
November 4, 2008 at 12:52
Is English your first language? If it isn’t then you have at least one excuse for writing abilities comparable to those of a ten year old child. You need a lot more than just practice. My first suggestion is to go read a book. My second suggestion is for you to disregard the notion that you should ever be taken seriously as a writer and as a human being. If I am unclear about what I mean by “you should never be taken seriously”, then please allow me to explain my biggest criticism:
I am not referring to the pathetic attempts at satire or witticisms within your review. What I am specifically referring to is the high frequency of grammatical and syntactical errors throughout the ENTIRE review. Not knowing how to properly structure a sentence might be a slight problem for an aspiring movie critic/writer.
On a final note: proofread what you’ve written. Have someone else proofread it as well. That’s about as constructive as I can be. Try to take something positive from what i’ve written and apply it. Good luck getting to twenty-one years old.
November 5, 2008 at 12:04
18 eh. You should post a picture of yourself. Oh and please please post a review of WATCHMEN when it comes out. I want to send it to Alan Moore
February 3, 2009 at 03:09
what the faggoty shit is this
March 18, 2009 at 07:28
Hulk Hogan?
March 29, 2009 at 17:24
I’ve read several of Val’s reviews so far, and I can’t believe some of the responses from people here. They make me quite sad. All her insights have been spot on, and those who can’t see it obviously don’t know how to look under the surface in their entertainment. I feel sorry for all you folks who can’t grasp Val’s points. They are highly intellectual and well thought out. I guess not everyone can see philosophical depth in things like me and Val can. Don’t listen to these morons, babe… you rock! You should have your own review column in your local newspaper or something.
May 7, 2009 at 12:35
Wow. This blog is like a giant case study on human nature. Too bad that it reveals such an ugly nature in so many.
June 16, 2009 at 16:57
Lets have a pillow fight.