Movie Review: Star Trek

Wood Trek = Hike

All across the internet, all of the online movie sites  have been buzzing about the release of the blockbustered movie Star Trek. Personally, I didn’t have a ton of interest. I thought, “Oh, a space movie. I don’t have a ton of interest in that.” Everyone said it would be an adventure, but I pointed out that it’s not called Star Adventure, it’s called Star Trek. It’s about a hike in outer space! La-me. However, it was when I saw a picture of the actors that I was really anxious to see it because, OMG, Chris Pine is really hot! Turns out, not only was it fun to watch because Chris has his shirt off, but it’s not really a bad movie, either.

The Guy From Harold and Kumar!!

Aside from coining terms like ‘Vulcan’ and ‘Space’ and ‘Star Fleet’, Star Trek has one big distinction from all other movies out, right now: it has created the term ‘Reboot’. Basically, what this means is that Hollywood takes something that is really lame and they makes it cool for today’s audiences. (Daniel Craig did this for James Bond, but didn’t come up with a phrase for it.) FYI – If you look closely, you’ll see that all of the characters are actually wearing boots as sort of a wink to the audience.

Live Television Was Limiting To Story Plots

This is considered a ‘reboot’ because it is actually based on an old television show from the olden days. The television show was limited to only a few sets because most early television was done live, so they couldn’t really change scenes often. Regardless, the show was more or less forgotten about until now and an interest in the story of Star Trek has resurfaced after the release of this movie. In fact, one of the oldest actors in the movie is actually from the television show. I think that was a very kind thing for the actors to do because it is hard for any actors to get work as an old people. Although, after I learned who he was, I had to wonder if maybe being on the set of made him sad because he’s the only one alive from the television show or if maybe he even got a little confused by it all because it’s kind of like all new actors playing the characters he and his friends created. It must have been kind of what it was like for Jim Henson when someone else started doing Kermit the Frog’s voice.

Chris Pine Is Distracted By The Man Coughing Behind Him

The movie tells the story of Chris Pine and how he becomes the captain of the spaceship. The thing I thought was really cool was that the actors were sending a really amazing message of ‘different but the same’ by having everyone in the movie come from different planets. Chris Pine’s Jim Kirk is from an Earth-like planet called Iowa (You mean like the state? Exactly. Not much originality there,eh?), Zachary Quinto was from a planet of elves and Zoe Saldana is from a planet where everyone has a distinct color (she’s black, but her sister was all green). The bad guy is from a tattoo planet and travels through time drilling holes in planets so that they deflate. And why? Because his wife died and he wants to find someone to blame. I’m sure Mr. Pine and everyone figured ‘Oh, it’s just a space movie’ and that the audience just wanted space ships and lasers and wouldn’t think too much about the plot. Well, sorry guys, but some of us did pay attention and wondered: Wait, if the bad guy can travel through time, why does he never go back in time to try and save his wife?  [*insert awkward silence from Chris Pine here*]  This was a plot hole so big you could drive a trunk through, IMHO! The only other complaint I have with this movie is the character of Spock.

 

Mr. Quinto's Spock: Nerdy and Passive Aggressive

Spock is played by television actor Zachary Quinto. Although he’s really just a Japanese elf, the movie says he’s a ‘Vulcan’ (this way no one has to give any money to Orlando Bloom from Lord of the Rings, I think). Unfortunately, this character was the biggest disappointment of the whole movie. Mr. Quinto’s delivery was so incredibly dry and emotionless (except for a few scenes where you could tell he was kind of angry) that I had to wonder why they didn’t re-shoot his scenes. It was as though Mr. Quinto was mad at the other actors and was like, ‘Screw it, I’m not gonna play my part interesting, at all, until you guys apologize for whatever’. I mean, his planet gets deflated and he’s like, ‘Oh, whatever’; the guy pushes his own mother off of a cliff and doesn’t even react! He even gets to make out with the prettiest girl on the ship and is so obviously not into it. I’m purely speculating, but maybe he just didn’t want to play a nerdy Japanese character. With the bowl haircut and making him the super smart one, Star Trek goes from being really liberal to playing on stereotypicals that some people have, especially people from the southern states. In that context, I can totally understand why Mr. Quinto is so obviously annoyed with his part. However, I really hope they work it out and just give him a cooler haircut before they make a sequel because Mr. Quinto’s Vulcan was more like a Vul-can’t.

Not Even Star Trek Can Escape Dane Cook's Influence

Dane Cook’s influence is obvious in the hand gesture the elves use to greet one another. It’s not exactly the same as Mr. Cook’s patented hand signal, but his finely tuned act has become such a common part of our culture, now, that it’d be hard not to reference it in some way. I thought this was pretty cool because every time they used it, I couldn’t help but think of Dane Cook and start laughing. 

"Uh, Captain, Your Shirt's Open...But I Don't Mind"

The two best parts of the movie were the visuals. Specifically, the special effects and Chris Pine. The special effects (or CGI) were amazing and everything on the space ship was clean and well designed and looked like it could have come from the Apple Store. The best CGI’s in the movie were the monster on the ice planet, the lasers and the captain’s chair. As for Chris Pine, what can be said? Whether he was in a shirt or without a shirt, I think Chris Pine did an amazing job and looked good no matter what he was doing.

Despite a rocky start to their reboot-trilogy, I look forward to more space adventures with Chris Pine and the crew of his spaceship Enterprise.

 

I give Star Trek 3 out 5 winks.

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