Movie Review: Transformers 2
Everyone knows, summer wouldn’t be summer without an action-packed blockbuster that kicks butt. Well, you don’t have to worry anymore because this summer is now officially a real summer thanks to Shia LaBeouf’s new movie blockbuster, Transformers 2.
Not Sure Which Robot, But Definitely One Of Them From The Movie
Transformers 2 is actually a trilogy to the movie Transformers that came out in 2007. What I like best about Shia is that on top of being talented (and hot!), his ideas are original and creative. Need proof? Well, look at Transformers. Not only did Shia come up with his own original movie and original characters, but he was able to think of a way to make another of the same movie. If you think about it, what this means is that his original story for the first movie was so big that he had to wait to make a trilogy for it, so he could tell the rest of it.
Shia Shows The Crew His Karate
Transformers 2 is chalk full of robots, both good and bad guy ones. The good guy robots are the cars and the bad guys are pretty much everything else Shia could think of (i.e. planes, tigers, etc.) The good robots are friends with army guys and together they fight the bad robots. But some of the good robots get sad because they miss their friend Shia….which is where his character comes in. Shia plays Sam who is going away to college and has to leave his car and his girlfriend, played by Megan Fox (she plays the girlfriend, not the car) who works on cars because she didn’t get into college. Shia finds a broken piece of metal that electrocutes him and gives him geometry powers. I think the metal was supposed to represent drugs because after it shocks him, he can’t concentrate in school and starts imagining things (this is sometimes called ‘tripping’ by drug people and can happen when someone takes too much drugs). Shia knows kids will see his movie, so I think it’s totally admirable for him to show them the harmful effects of recreational drugging: see strange things, yell weird comments in class and everyone will think you’re weird or disabled or foreign.
Shia Gives Directions To Someone Who Is Lost
Meanwhile, the bad guy robots find the leader robot that died in the first movie, revive him from the ocean and go looking for a really old robot who is the dad of all the robots (this makes all the good robots and all the bad guy robots…what? Brothers, right!) whom they call The Fallen.
The Fallen is an old man robot with a French accent who, because he had fallen at some point, is forced to use a cane. Throughout the movie, all of the robots kept calling him The Fallen, (like, ‘We must find The Fallen’ or ‘Where is The Fallen?’) and this really upset me because I thought it was really disrespectful. In my opinion, old people have names and shouldn’t be defined by their injuries or ailments. I love my grandparents and so I would never ever refer to them as The Osteoporosis and The Broken Hip.
Wheelie Gets Into Trouble...AGAIN
There are a lot of big battles where lots of stuff blows up and sometimes it’s hard to tell which robot is which, but its pretty exciting stuff, regardless. There are lots of new robots in this movie to love, but my favorite was definitely Wheelie. He was hilarious! He says what he wants and has some serious attitude. Not only that, but he provided the hugest laugh in movie history when he tried to have sex with Megan Fox’s leg. *SPOILER*
Megan Prepares To Act In A Scene
The boyfriend-girlfriend relationship between Megan and Shia is just so well done, that I found myself almost crying when he had to leave her for school. It is because they are so attractive that I think the audience cares as much about them as they do each other and themselves. No Transfats or Transgenders in this movie–Shia and Megan are definitely two Transhotties! That is a belief I will take to my Transgrave. 
Shia And Megan Are Constantly Running From Explosion Situations
I think the movie was as close to perfect as you could get. The CGI effects are amazing, Shia is able to work in some subtle messages to the viewers and Megan Fox is a good role model for girls because she works on cars even though it makes her seem like she might be a lesbian.
I believe that Shia’s Transformers 2 is just the beginning of what may very well be an endless trilogy.
I give Transformers 2 5 out 5 winks.
Tags: 90265, blockbuster, boom, Cuteness, entertainment, fallen, film, hollywood, LaBeouf, LeBeouf, Malibu, megan fox, movie review, movies, osteoporosis, popcorn, review, robots, sexy, Shia, smartness, summer, transformers, tween, youthful opinion
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June 23, 2009 at 17:25
“I believe that Shia’s Transformers 2 is just the beginning of what may very well be an endless trilogy.”
We can only hope.
June 23, 2009 at 18:12
It sounds like the old man robot with the french accent needs a clapper, along with his cane.
Lesbians do make good mechanics, it’s true.
P.S. Don’t refer to your grandparents as The Osteoporosis and The Broken Hip, it may hinder any chances you have of inheritance.
June 24, 2009 at 12:11
Pretty good review, Val. I need to see this movie, but I’m glad you found the photo of Megan Fox getting ready to ‘act.’ It might be the truest thing you’ve ever written. But damn she’s pretty.
June 24, 2009 at 13:55
Shia didn’t direct this movie, Bay did and he did not create the story, it’s a classic television show. You make my head hurt.
June 24, 2009 at 16:05
So many things wrong with your post.
First, learn to spell douche. Since you are one, you should know what you are.
Second, develop a sense of humor. It will help when people make fun of your ignorance.
Third, learn something called facetiousness. Then, trash your computer, dipstick.
Valerie, I love your take on movies. Keep it up.
June 24, 2009 at 17:39
Dave, U R such an idiot. Do u rly think shes being facetius? No. Shia’s a Duche is just point out how egregius and not humerus Valeri really is. U just want to cautius, and be nice in case she’s mentally handicapped. I get it. What if she’s autistic, or even dylsexic? But shes not. Shes just ludicrusly stupid.
July 27, 2009 at 14:05
oh lord, please stay in school &make sure to focus on English.
June 24, 2009 at 17:34
Srsly Val, U make my head hurt 2. I can’t believe you are so such a dumby. Shia Labuff didnt make this movie, he jsut acted in it! And its a really old story. They even made some toys a while back and thats what this is based on.
And the 1st poster is so right. Shia is such a duche bag. He makes me want to guge a hole into my head. He’s a stupid little muse of a man. I am dumbfunded that yu think hes so hilarius.
June 24, 2009 at 17:40
I loved when the little robot tried to rape Megan Fox! So funny!
June 24, 2009 at 23:32
Megan Fox has weird thums! They look like big toes!
June 25, 2009 at 08:16
Just to let you all know, this review contains spoilers.
There. I said it. Don’t be mad @ me, Jan, but I can’t get into this particular review w/o spoiling a couple things here and there.
Let me preface this review by stating that I am a HUGE Michael Bay fan. I absolutely love most of his movies and can totally appreciate his style of leave-your-brain-home-and-enjoy-the-pretty-colors direction, and I thought the 1st Transformers movie was an absolute PERFECT junk food movie. I copped it in HD as soon as it came out and STILL watch it once in a while. When I heard Bay was going to make a sequel, the inner fanboy in me bust a virtual nut.
“MORE Optimus Prime? MORE giant robot fights? MORE intricately detailed transformation sequences? And the Constructicons? AND they form Devastator? Megan Fox draped over a motorcycle w/batty lick shorts on? Sign me all the way up for this!” I said to myself.
Dammit, Man…this movie sucks.
No disrespect to anyone on these boards who loved this flick, but this movie sucked huge metal robot balls (which were in the movie, BTW…WTF was up w/THAT one?!?!?!?) in comparison to the 1st.
There isn’t even a bloody plot for the middle 1/3rd of the movie!
Seriously.
You could literally cut a whole hour out of this, and it would probably make
more sense. There were some kewl introductions of new robots in the beginning (more on the Twins later) which was nice, but there wasn’t much of even a semblance of plot. I know, I know, “it’s a Bay film! What do you expect?” you say…same defense I put up against all the so-called “elites” who railed against me for loving the 1st one. One shouldn’t expect Shakespeare from a toy commercial. I get that (for instance, I vehemently defended my love of the largely implausible “Cloverfield” last year! LOL). But this was bad even for him. For instance:
1.The scene where Shia’s character’s mom eats the pot brownies…did it REALLY need to go on for that long?
2.Did John Turturro need to strip to his underwear again? AGAIN?!?
3.How the f–k is it daylight EVERYWHERE on the planet? And if I’m able to teleport across the globe, why drive? I guess that’s how Bumblebee was able to get to Egypt from the US in 2 scenes flat.
4.Megatron is not supposed to be ANYONE’S bitch, I don’t care how many millennia you have on him.
5.Since when are Transformers able to disguise themselves as humans?
6.I’m a shaky-cam fan, but DAMN!
The Robot Twins…what.the.F–K!
I don’t like them @ all. Why are they so damn stereotypical? I could accept Jazz in the 1st one because the original G1 Jazz was “black” also (voiced by the late Scatman Crothers, who was also the voice of Hong Kong Phooey, BTW). And he was a decent soldier and a great fighter, though he was destroyed by Megatron in the 1st one. These two Latino carriacatures should offend anyone w/even a modicum of ethnic blood in them. Why can’t they read? They’re cybernetic organisms that were apparently able to absorb complete knowledge of Earth’s languages via the World Wide Web. Why does one of them have a gold tooth? Why are their eyes all kooky? Since when is it ok to have Step N Fetch It in robot form?
F–k Michael Bay for this part of the movie.
Jar Jar Binks-like characters (Car-Car Binks in this instance? LOL) will always be an epic fail as far as I’m concerned. They didn’t work in the Star Wars prequels and they don’t really work here. The Twin Robots were funny @ 1st, but then quickly became grating as the movie progressed.
It’s not ALL bad though…if you’re hungering for more robots, this one delivers in spades. I consider myself a huge TF geek-I know most of the robots on sight. But this was almost overload…ALMOST! There were almost too many of them! It was cool, though, to watch them fight, albeit hard to tell which robot was which. The scene in the forest is absolutely spectacular, and here is where Bay shines best. Very well choreographed, and expertly framed…ILM once again proves that they are standard bearers for virtually all other digital FX studios. The integration of the CGI w/set pieces is nothing short of flawless; the robots are even more real and intricately detailed this time.
And Megan Fox. Wow. She could get all 8.5″. ALL of it, and raw, too…LOL
Anyway, there is a marked difference in tone from this sequel and the 1st. The first movie was a bit more refined; it was like Bay had Spielberg reigning him in when he got too grandiose. Now, it would seem that since the 1st one did so well, he was allowed to do whatever the f–k he wanted, to ill effect.
Visually speaking, this movie is just frigging golden! It’s a bit hard to follow @ points from a visual standpoint (what are these robots doing? Are they fighting or dancing? Who is that fighting who? etc.), and the plot is LITERALLY non-existent @ times (bad even for Bay). Like I said, it looks really, really, really, REALLY good, especially in IMAX (although it would seem that most of the scenes weren’t actually shot w/IMAX cameras, as you can tell by the changing aspect ratios) but the Twins and lack of direction kill this for me. A strong rental, as far as I’m concerned.
5 out of 5 stars for action, CGI, TONS of robots and Megan Fox
1.5 out of 5 stars for everything else
June 25, 2009 at 09:19
I’m… speechless.
June 25, 2009 at 10:43
So was I when I saw the Step N Fetchit robots…
July 16, 2009 at 11:43
Sundance, I think it is very comical that your review is better than the review we are commenting on. I agree with you more or less completely on everything you said, because this is an excellent brainless action movie… probably one of the best.
Val, I don’t care if you are autistic, retarded, stupid or whatever else you want to throw at me, pick a different hobby because your review made me want to punch a dead baby (mind you I didn’t). It wasn’t funny, it just lowered my intellegence quotient by a few numbers because I decided to keep reading. Thank you for that…
July 16, 2009 at 12:08
Thanks, Rob.
And yes, TF2 was the equivalent of a very pretty girl that was so stupid you couldn’t stand to be in her company, regardless of how gorgeous she is, how phat her booty is, or how great she is w/headdypop.
Very pretty, stupid (even for Bay) movie, not worth much more than a strong rental.
July 16, 2009 at 13:15
Just for you, Valerie. Your blog brings me much joy, so for you, three pictures of Shia shirtless:
http://www.popsugar.com/3461269?page=0,0,0
July 21, 2009 at 08:13
More like Shia Le-BUFF
July 21, 2009 at 16:59
i agree with sundance to some degree…
saw it twice in theaters, first time i saw it, i had never seen the first one and it didn’t really make a lot of sense at some points, it was the type of thing where my friend asked me to go to the movies with her, she picked this one and i went along for the ride.
being completely ignorant to what was going on and just goin gaga over shia i thought it was awesome.
between then and the second time, i actually bought the first one, not bad, but also not my favorite.
then i went and saw it again last week.
i gotta say, ignorance is bliss.
idk what it was, but it lost it’s spark.
it wasn’t an aweful movie by any means but then again it wasn’t as awesome as i initially thought.
that being said, whoever wrote this review is even more clueless and ingorant than I AM, which is highly surprising.
you would have to be a complete and clueless idiot to think that shia did this whole movie by himself! he had maybe 10% to do with this movie. he acted and maybe did his own stunts. the rest was the other actors, and the production team. he probably didn’t even see the script until maybe 2 months before shooting or something.
and #2. did you even see this movie? or the first one?
July 26, 2009 at 20:38
MY GOD! You have to be retarded! This movie sucked balls! Michael Bay is probably the most sorry ass excuse for a director I have ever seen. You obviously have NO taste in movies. Shia and Megan probably could have such better roles. This movie had so many scenes that didn’t need to happen and an unnecessarily large focus on humans (army mainly) and the robot testicles were something I’d expect in Epic Movie. Go play in traffic.
July 27, 2009 at 07:25
LMAO @ “Go play in traffic…”
Let’s not call names, now…LOL
July 29, 2009 at 03:36
Have to say, totally agree with Sundance and have a few more points to add.
I’m not a full TF buff but I know most of my shit and I ask you; how the hell can you ignore that the TF lore already had a kick-ass set of Twins, use one of them in the movie (Sideswipe) and then create that retarded pair.
I can’t say I disagree with Sideswipe’s make-over to a Chevey Stingray ’cause the old Lamborghini Countach’s were hideous but I’m disappointed that they didn’t at lest go with his traditional candy-apple red. (Perhaps they were trying not to draw attention to him?)
Did anyone else notice that all the ‘bots (in particular the Decepticons got kind of …juicy?… in the second movie? Starscream spitting all over the place as he talks, Ravage’s insides seeming more like what you’d find a big old beetle larvae and let’s not even start on how it would be possible for a ‘bot to physically transform into a human alt.
I have some other bones to pick about the movie’s lack of continuity from the first to the second (let alone the break from traditional TF)but I won’t go into detail on that.
July 29, 2009 at 07:40
“I can’t say I disagree with Sideswipe’s make-over to a Chevey Stingray ’cause the old Lamborghini Countach’s were hideous”…
Blasphemy! Heathen! How dare you spread such lies~!
LOL